Meet the New Officer Friendly
Except He Isn’t. You Should Be Outraged
The Great Leader has relished this opportunity since, oh…well forever. Our germaphobe-in-chief, the native New Yorker who somehow never accepted the generational grime of his home town, is ready to street sweep America’s Blue cities. Rid them of the “scum” (his words) protesting Homeland Security’s rights-trampling militarization we know as deportation raids.
He’s dreamed of this perfect scenario. His MAGA-friendly “mass deportation” runs smack into predictable resistance in “woke sanctuaries.” The resulting protests get chippy and start looking, on a certain 96-inch White House TV locked on FOX News, temptingly like an “insurrection.”
Hmmm. Imagine the political performance possibilities! Angry Daddy will be known as even more intimidating and unstoppable with a simple Commander-In-Chief bigfoot! Send in masked, heavily armed, federal law enforcement – and now actual soldiers – to crush these woke bastards. Plus, this fires up the base and creates so much noise it’ll flush Elon what’s-his-name out of the news cycle faster than you can say Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, the joy. Pass the popcorn and turn on The Five.
Welcome to MAGA’s Police State
The escalation of our nascent police state took a terrifying leap a week ago in Minneapolis. It ought to scare the bejesus out of you. Last Monday a heavily armored, alphabet soup of 11 masked federal cop agencies swarmed a popular Mexican restaurant in South Minneapolis.
Stupidly, though not surprisingly, Minneapolis city police provided crowd control for the search warrant operation. Yeah, the same Minneapolis police who killed George Floyd five years ago this past May found themselves in a crossfire. Here they were, stuck between protestors and the masked ICE/FBI/ATF/Odinists (more on that last one later) supposedly not conducting an immigration raid.
Urban Minnesotans – products of top public schools, rooted in a culture actively committed to social justice, highly knowledgeable of their constitutional rights – saw the jackbooted invasion and were compelled to intervene. The crowds brought the heat, believing the “disappearing” of immigrants outside courtrooms and in schools had arrived in Minneapolis. Protestors swarmed the scene with cellphones held up to record the conflict. The masked feds stood their ground while the local cops used pepper spray and their own muscle to physically restrain the crowds. The next day Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison (D) called it “over the top” and Governor Tim Walz (D) condemned the raid as “chaotic.” Walz also reminded the noisy MAGA deportation thugs in his own state that 11% of Minnesota’s tax-paying workforce are immigrants.
“There’s not a cow being milked in Minnesota that’s not being milked by an immigrant,” said the governor.
Let’s Talk About The Masks
Riot police, whose identities are for all intent and purposes lost behind helmets, masks, and batons, have become a too familiar image in our country. From protests starting with Michael Brown and continuing through George Floyd, to the pitched battle of January 6th, to the ongoing confrontations in Los Angeles, the kitted out riot cop on our TV is as ubiquitous as the fantasy Stormtroopers from Star Wars. Frankly, we’ve become too comfortable with an image that should not be normal in a free society.
Slowly, the ID cover up has spread to non-riot response. We’re in the age of mass deportations and secret offshore prisons, when arrogant, disrespectful, and morally vacant uniformed thugs show up at graduations, mandatory court appearances, and at the Home Depot labor pool. The masked, camouflaged tactical foot soldier, facial features obstructed by a gator or mask, is pro forma in special units like SWAT and among door-bashing warrant servers and raiders. It’s boys in blue backlash to protestors who doxed federal agents in 2020 who were deployed to stop civil unrest in Portland. It's another layer of confusion to thwart the proliferation of mandatory police body cameras. The video can also ID officers because it’s subject to public records release in many jurisdictions.
Add to the masks a kind of open tribal identification by the units, and it really starts getting Nazis-Stasi-KGB creepy.
Following the Minneapolis raid, Minnesota Star Tribune Reporters Andy Mannix and Matt DeLong revealed some of the masked agents wearing patches identifiable with the Norse god Odin. The duo reported that Odinism, a legit belief derived from the warrior culture of some Norse mythology, has been twisted by White Supremacist groups into an ideology of race purification. The patch depicting a bearded skull of a Viking tripped alarms among the protestors, though some experts caution the image may be worn simply because it looks fierce.
RIP Officer Friendly
Still, brutalist insignia and memorabilia are embedded in cop culture, as revealed in the series of patches and challenge coins Phoenix police were allowed to circulate there in 2017. The coins celebrated a cop who shot a tear gas canister into the genitals of a protestor demonstrating outside the Phoenix Convention Center during an appearance by President Trump.
In 2024, the United States Department of Justice (DOJ) cited hostility to protests and demonstrations in a scathing assessment of a decade of civil rights violations by the Phoenix police force. Phoenix Police are among the most violent departments in America. You can read about it in detail here and here.
Two weeks ago, undoubtedly timed as an F-U to law enforcement reform marked by the fifth anniversary of George Floyd’s death, the Trump administration dropped the DOJ’s Phoenix probe. DOJ also informed Minneapolis it would no longer monitor the city’s police under a consent decree mandating changes in the culture and practices that led to Floyd’s suffocation by Office Derek Chauvin.
The City of Minneapolis announced immediately it would follow the consent decree with or without federal involvement because its citizens – the very ones confronting the masked feds last week – believe they should have authentic police protection without sacrificing their civil rights.
Alternately, The City of Phoenix celebrated its good fortune. The alleged Blue city had been lobbying first the Biden administration and now the Mad King to be relieved of its responsibilities to do better. Reform in Phoenix, it seems, would cost taxpayers too much and handcuff a department its citizens would very much like to turn loose on the unhoused. Remember, many Phoenix voters kept the racist, Obama-hating, immigrant-hating, Trump-worshipping Sheriff Joe Arpaio in office for 24 years. A police department that respects human rights has never been on their agenda.
As you read this, National Guard troops are deployed in Los Angeles to tangle with anti-Mass Deportation protestors. Uniformed U.S. soldiers are there without the consent of Governor Gavin Newsom. Uniformed and armed U.S. soldiers are deployed against Americans who legally demand the due process guaranteed in our constitution. Uniformed, armed, U.S. soldiers deployed in a Blue city in a Blue state to satisfy the cruel, vengeful, dictatorial lust of a power drunk punk.
Officer Friendly they’re not. Remember, you voted for this criminal clown. Did you really expect a police state?